Resolutions

You're probably thinking this is a blog about New Year's Resolutions.

It's not.

This is an entry about mending relationships. I've made mistakes in the past in the way that I've handled issues within relationships. This time around, I've learned. Years ago, I used to have a best friend and he and I had a huge arguement. To make a long story short, it was all miscommunication and we handled the situation by not talking to each other for 1 week. I tried, but gave up on trying when I was met with hostility from him. Our friend, L, kept telling us that we needed to mend the relationship. We didn't because he didn't want to. When we actually tried to mend it, we ended up yelling and crying and he ended it. I was devastated and moped around for weeks after that. I felt like my heart was pulled out from my body through my chest. It was almost the most painful thing I had ever experienced.

Like the previous entry stated to an extent, I had a huge fight with my best friend C. Since I didn't want to leave this conversation like I had the previous time, I made sure that we confronted this issue head on. And we did. Sitting in a car, putting forth every buried feeling and shedding every tear. We expressed suppressed issues and true feelings. This was a very cleansing moment for me.

Friendships that are meant to last, last. And those that aren't meant to last, end. This one is definitely one that is lasting. Moments like these make us stronger and more proud to have solid people who will never give up on you and promise to stand by your side, even when you have lost your mind. This is what true friendships are made of. When something is worth fighting for, you know. I was fighting tooth and nail to keep this friendship above water (literally...it's been raining for 3 days now) because she means that much to me. No one (outside of my mother, aunt, brothers, 'immediate' cousins) has ever cared for me so much and I have never put everything on the line to save what I cherish.

PSA: Fix relationships. Once you're out of the moment of fixing what's broken, only then will you realize whether this person is truly in the relationship for themselves, you or them. I'm in this relationship for us.

To C, like we've said "I'm never giving up on you." And these words are true.

Drama Free

This is supposed to be the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year".

It was until last night.

Let me start by saying this: I have been in school for the intense time called Fall Quarter. When it got out, I was so excited because that meant I could go home and relax on my couch for 3 weeks before Winter Quarter started and chaos continued again. Since I've been home (last Monday) I have spent 1 day actually sitting on my couch doing nothing. Each day, people want to hang out with me, I have to go run errands, take my lil brother places.

Last night, I was confronted with drama.

I'm popular and lots of people want to hang out with me. So I'm doing the best I can to have face time with everyone in my phone book who really matters (not to say that other people in my phone don't matter, because they do...just go with me). I went to a Christmas party last night at my best friend's house and there was a bunch of people there who I haven't seen in months. It was nice to catch up with them and relish in the holiday spirit. After the party I went home and that's when it all started.

My other best friend wanted to hang out today (C) and go shopping and then go see BLACK SWAN. I made those plans with her. The person's house I was at (L), said that he wanted to see BLACK SWAN today with our other best friend (C, not the one from above) and I thought "Cool. We all can see it together. My cousin wants to see it too". Not happening apparently.

So C (not the last one mentioned) got pissed because I wasn't hanging out with her alone and that I would rather hang out with everyone else except her.

Pause.

WTF????? I'm so confused. How did I get reprimanded for making everyone happy? Seriously? Honestly, I don't need this drama. So you know what I said? Don't come. Stay home. Do whatever the heck you want to do, but I'm not catering to you. People who are closer to me than you (E) is not getting upset because I haven't seen her since October! We've been friends since I was a freshman in high school! She's not tripping out because I haven't seen her. Get a grip.

I could make this entry much longer, but it's gonna make me upset again and I'm not down with that. Instead, I'm gonna relish in my family-Chipotle time and then look forward to seeing BLACK SWAN with people who aren't Jasmine-obsessed.

High-Fiving A Million Angels

I made it. Fall Quarter 2010 is complete. I can't say that I know how well I made out, but I did the best I could with the crap I was handed.

I celebrated the end of the quarter with a wine and cheese with my roommates (only 2 of them). It was really nice because we just sat in the apartment and talked about life and sex (with one of my roommates, that's always where the conversation leads) and how the quarter sucked and how the next one better be much better.
One of my roommates is from Singapore and that party was the last time we would hang out with her, and in fact it was. We had cheese, bread, fruit, meats and WINE! Singaporean-roommate, WeiWei, and I had 3 bottles of wine while the other roommate, Anna, had sparkling cider. She had a small glass of wine but it took her forever to drink it. Love you lightweight-roomie, I really do.
The conversation and wine continued to flow after we finished eating and then we exchanged Christmas gifts. It was so nice to relax after a very hectic Quarter and just take in the ladies who have put up with my moodiness for this quarter and laughter and lots of conversations.

When the apartment was empty, I spent the weekend holed up inside with singing, hulu.com and bottles of wine (3 to be exact). I walked around the apartment on Saturday in nothing but a bra and underwear and danced alone. I loved it. There was no better feeling than that in the world.

*sigh*

Now all that's done and I'm back in the good ol' I-town for the holidays with the people who make me sane.

I never said this, but I appreciate Brandi and Christine for coming up to visit me in my depression.