Hello, blogger world!
I turned 25 in the last hour! Lol.
I have been super busy with life and school but I was inspired to write a poem. I was watching INTERVENTION and started thinking about addiction and what the word meant and how it described a person. So here's my take on Addiction.
Pain. I mask it.
Suffering. I hide it.
Shame. I down it.
Addiction. I live it.
Consumption of my every bone
every muscle, every
thought.
What is this thing taking
over me?
Whose body am I living in?
Whose clothes
am I wearing?
This wasn't me but this
is me NOW.
Hatred of myself and who I've
become
I don't recognize myself and couldn't
point myself out in a lineup.
Could you?
Wrap your head around my options
to choose my addiction over you
Understand that I matter to
me more than you do
Thoughts and images of me cross
my mind of who I have become
but not the complete me.
Who am I?
I am the addiction.
I am your addict.
Your problem child at 34 years old.
Trust. Love. Joy.
All these things you lost from me.
Faith.
That's gone too, but somehow
there's a part of you that
manages to keep me in your
prayers.
You amaze me with
your passion and dedication
and commitment to me.
Remain my strength.
I know I let you down and I
see the disappointment in your
eyes. Don't let me
go. Don't let me
fall cause I've done it
my way and where has
it left my soul?
I've walked down my
beaten path many a time
and my life has ended in
the gutter.
You tell me that I'm not okay
and sometimes I believe it
and other times I can handle
it myself.
I can handle it
I can hand over my will anytime
I can
walk away from my pain
if I feel like it
I can feel and will this
void away anytime I choose.
You don't own me
I own me
My addiction owns...
me
How do I say
'enough is enough' or
two simple words like
'help' and 'me'
I can't put the two words
together and I don't know how.
How do I say or
speak these confessing words
'Please'
It's so simple, yet not at all.
I'm done; I'm gone
I'm addicted
Please comment on it.
Love, peace, and chicken grease!
