You're probably thinking this is a blog about New Year's Resolutions.
It's not.
This is an entry about mending relationships. I've made mistakes in the past in the way that I've handled issues within relationships. This time around, I've learned. Years ago, I used to have a best friend and he and I had a huge arguement. To make a long story short, it was all miscommunication and we handled the situation by not talking to each other for 1 week. I tried, but gave up on trying when I was met with hostility from him. Our friend, L, kept telling us that we needed to mend the relationship. We didn't because he didn't want to. When we actually tried to mend it, we ended up yelling and crying and he ended it. I was devastated and moped around for weeks after that. I felt like my heart was pulled out from my body through my chest. It was almost the most painful thing I had ever experienced.
Like the previous entry stated to an extent, I had a huge fight with my best friend C. Since I didn't want to leave this conversation like I had the previous time, I made sure that we confronted this issue head on. And we did. Sitting in a car, putting forth every buried feeling and shedding every tear. We expressed suppressed issues and true feelings. This was a very cleansing moment for me.
Friendships that are meant to last, last. And those that aren't meant to last, end. This one is definitely one that is lasting. Moments like these make us stronger and more proud to have solid people who will never give up on you and promise to stand by your side, even when you have lost your mind. This is what true friendships are made of. When something is worth fighting for, you know. I was fighting tooth and nail to keep this friendship above water (literally...it's been raining for 3 days now) because she means that much to me. No one (outside of my mother, aunt, brothers, 'immediate' cousins) has ever cared for me so much and I have never put everything on the line to save what I cherish.
PSA: Fix relationships. Once you're out of the moment of fixing what's broken, only then will you realize whether this person is truly in the relationship for themselves, you or them. I'm in this relationship for us.
To C, like we've said "I'm never giving up on you." And these words are true.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Drama Free
This is supposed to be the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year".
It was until last night.
Let me start by saying this: I have been in school for the intense time called Fall Quarter. When it got out, I was so excited because that meant I could go home and relax on my couch for 3 weeks before Winter Quarter started and chaos continued again. Since I've been home (last Monday) I have spent 1 day actually sitting on my couch doing nothing. Each day, people want to hang out with me, I have to go run errands, take my lil brother places.
Last night, I was confronted with drama.
I'm popular and lots of people want to hang out with me. So I'm doing the best I can to have face time with everyone in my phone book who really matters (not to say that other people in my phone don't matter, because they do...just go with me). I went to a Christmas party last night at my best friend's house and there was a bunch of people there who I haven't seen in months. It was nice to catch up with them and relish in the holiday spirit. After the party I went home and that's when it all started.
My other best friend wanted to hang out today (C) and go shopping and then go see BLACK SWAN. I made those plans with her. The person's house I was at (L), said that he wanted to see BLACK SWAN today with our other best friend (C, not the one from above) and I thought "Cool. We all can see it together. My cousin wants to see it too". Not happening apparently.
So C (not the last one mentioned) got pissed because I wasn't hanging out with her alone and that I would rather hang out with everyone else except her.
Pause.
WTF????? I'm so confused. How did I get reprimanded for making everyone happy? Seriously? Honestly, I don't need this drama. So you know what I said? Don't come. Stay home. Do whatever the heck you want to do, but I'm not catering to you. People who are closer to me than you (E) is not getting upset because I haven't seen her since October! We've been friends since I was a freshman in high school! She's not tripping out because I haven't seen her. Get a grip.
I could make this entry much longer, but it's gonna make me upset again and I'm not down with that. Instead, I'm gonna relish in my family-Chipotle time and then look forward to seeing BLACK SWAN with people who aren't Jasmine-obsessed.
It was until last night.
Let me start by saying this: I have been in school for the intense time called Fall Quarter. When it got out, I was so excited because that meant I could go home and relax on my couch for 3 weeks before Winter Quarter started and chaos continued again. Since I've been home (last Monday) I have spent 1 day actually sitting on my couch doing nothing. Each day, people want to hang out with me, I have to go run errands, take my lil brother places.
Last night, I was confronted with drama.
I'm popular and lots of people want to hang out with me. So I'm doing the best I can to have face time with everyone in my phone book who really matters (not to say that other people in my phone don't matter, because they do...just go with me). I went to a Christmas party last night at my best friend's house and there was a bunch of people there who I haven't seen in months. It was nice to catch up with them and relish in the holiday spirit. After the party I went home and that's when it all started.
My other best friend wanted to hang out today (C) and go shopping and then go see BLACK SWAN. I made those plans with her. The person's house I was at (L), said that he wanted to see BLACK SWAN today with our other best friend (C, not the one from above) and I thought "Cool. We all can see it together. My cousin wants to see it too". Not happening apparently.
So C (not the last one mentioned) got pissed because I wasn't hanging out with her alone and that I would rather hang out with everyone else except her.
Pause.
WTF????? I'm so confused. How did I get reprimanded for making everyone happy? Seriously? Honestly, I don't need this drama. So you know what I said? Don't come. Stay home. Do whatever the heck you want to do, but I'm not catering to you. People who are closer to me than you (E) is not getting upset because I haven't seen her since October! We've been friends since I was a freshman in high school! She's not tripping out because I haven't seen her. Get a grip.
I could make this entry much longer, but it's gonna make me upset again and I'm not down with that. Instead, I'm gonna relish in my family-Chipotle time and then look forward to seeing BLACK SWAN with people who aren't Jasmine-obsessed.
Monday, December 13, 2010
High-Fiving A Million Angels
I made it. Fall Quarter 2010 is complete. I can't say that I know how well I made out, but I did the best I could with the crap I was handed.
I celebrated the end of the quarter with a wine and cheese with my roommates (only 2 of them). It was really nice because we just sat in the apartment and talked about life and sex (with one of my roommates, that's always where the conversation leads) and how the quarter sucked and how the next one better be much better.
One of my roommates is from Singapore and that party was the last time we would hang out with her, and in fact it was. We had cheese, bread, fruit, meats and WINE! Singaporean-roommate, WeiWei, and I had 3 bottles of wine while the other roommate, Anna, had sparkling cider. She had a small glass of wine but it took her forever to drink it. Love you lightweight-roomie, I really do.
The conversation and wine continued to flow after we finished eating and then we exchanged Christmas gifts. It was so nice to relax after a very hectic Quarter and just take in the ladies who have put up with my moodiness for this quarter and laughter and lots of conversations.
When the apartment was empty, I spent the weekend holed up inside with singing, hulu.com and bottles of wine (3 to be exact). I walked around the apartment on Saturday in nothing but a bra and underwear and danced alone. I loved it. There was no better feeling than that in the world.
*sigh*
Now all that's done and I'm back in the good ol' I-town for the holidays with the people who make me sane.
I never said this, but I appreciate Brandi and Christine for coming up to visit me in my depression.
I celebrated the end of the quarter with a wine and cheese with my roommates (only 2 of them). It was really nice because we just sat in the apartment and talked about life and sex (with one of my roommates, that's always where the conversation leads) and how the quarter sucked and how the next one better be much better.
One of my roommates is from Singapore and that party was the last time we would hang out with her, and in fact it was. We had cheese, bread, fruit, meats and WINE! Singaporean-roommate, WeiWei, and I had 3 bottles of wine while the other roommate, Anna, had sparkling cider. She had a small glass of wine but it took her forever to drink it. Love you lightweight-roomie, I really do.
The conversation and wine continued to flow after we finished eating and then we exchanged Christmas gifts. It was so nice to relax after a very hectic Quarter and just take in the ladies who have put up with my moodiness for this quarter and laughter and lots of conversations.
When the apartment was empty, I spent the weekend holed up inside with singing, hulu.com and bottles of wine (3 to be exact). I walked around the apartment on Saturday in nothing but a bra and underwear and danced alone. I loved it. There was no better feeling than that in the world.
*sigh*
Now all that's done and I'm back in the good ol' I-town for the holidays with the people who make me sane.
I never said this, but I appreciate Brandi and Christine for coming up to visit me in my depression.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Alone
I just had to say that I don't like feeling alone.
All of a sudden, I had this feeling come over me and I realized that I am feeling alone. I don't like it. I go through day to day and wonder if I'm ever going to find someone to share my hopes, dreams, fears, desires, pains with. There's only so much a best friend and family can do. You need that emotional connection like no other. Your family loves you unconditionally, but what about the romantic connection, the touch and breath and warmth of that skin against yours. I don't know how people go without this day in and day out. Don't get me wrong, I've been in that state for years (not caring/needing/wanting a relationship) but today, this week, has been a little different. I need to get out of this funk.
I'm done.
All of a sudden, I had this feeling come over me and I realized that I am feeling alone. I don't like it. I go through day to day and wonder if I'm ever going to find someone to share my hopes, dreams, fears, desires, pains with. There's only so much a best friend and family can do. You need that emotional connection like no other. Your family loves you unconditionally, but what about the romantic connection, the touch and breath and warmth of that skin against yours. I don't know how people go without this day in and day out. Don't get me wrong, I've been in that state for years (not caring/needing/wanting a relationship) but today, this week, has been a little different. I need to get out of this funk.
I'm done.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
To Whom It May Concern
I was just looking around online at clothes and plus size things and things that aren't necessarily plus size. I am so pissed because I am in the middle size. I am not small enough to wear clothes in Forever 21 (though I have managed to find some things when I'm intently searching) and I am not big enough for clothes in Lane Bryant/Torrid. I hate being the middle. Can't they just make a store where they make clothes for people like me in the interim? I have large hips and pants don't fit me right. Because I have a massive booty, I have to buy pants that fit the booty but don't fit the waist. As a result, I buy the pants because they fit me everywhere else but then the waist buckles when I wear a belt. Someone please point me to the pants that fit me right? I was at New York & Company, just looking around and I came across my favorite style of pants: WIDE LEG!
Photo courtesy of New York & Company via www.nyandcompany.com
These are the exact pants that I tried on. The only problem is that there are pockets! I hate pockets on wide leg pants because they add bulkiness to my hips. Because they are so wide, it doesn't help my frame, but just makes my mid-section look extra large. There's already cushion there, so I don't need more. So, New York & Company, can you please make these pants without pockets? I would buy them and love you guys forever! By the way, thank you for my new wool peacoat! It will be worn quite frequently this winter. GRACIAS!
Sincerely,
Wide Hipster
Photo courtesy of New York & Company via www.nyandcompany.com
These are the exact pants that I tried on. The only problem is that there are pockets! I hate pockets on wide leg pants because they add bulkiness to my hips. Because they are so wide, it doesn't help my frame, but just makes my mid-section look extra large. There's already cushion there, so I don't need more. So, New York & Company, can you please make these pants without pockets? I would buy them and love you guys forever! By the way, thank you for my new wool peacoat! It will be worn quite frequently this winter. GRACIAS!
Sincerely,
Wide Hipster
Think and Think Again
Hello world. Yes, I've been MIA for a very long time. If you must know, I've been at school, absorbed in the intensity called Fall Quarter. I'm basically getting back into the swing of things.
Thought that's not an excuse to take 10 minutes out of my day to blog, I am, quite literally, up to my neck in words. Which means, that I spend all my spare time, which isn't necessarily free in the sense of the word, reading books/plays/short stories. I have 3 Creative Writing classes and 1 Theater class. Life is all work and Friday night play for me.
Back to the point. I went to a store party last night on campus. It was 2 hours of free food and pool/video games/conversation. It was very nice to get out of the apartment and away from books for awhile. I conversed with some co-workers and played some very emotional games of pool with my fellow manager and bosses. It was quite fun.
After the party, everyone pretty much went on their own path and basically went back to their apartments for the night. A fellow manager, barista and I didn't want the the night to end so soon. With 2 other baristas, we decided that the 5 of us should take the party somewhere else. Since I go to school with a bunch of younger people, I am the token buyer of alcohol. We did a gas station run (which is a lot different than where I'm from) and bought some beer and alcoholic energy drinks (which taste like medicine). We basically spent the night getting to know each other and laughing. Typical college night, you could say.
The conversation turned into sex talk, which apparently happens at all of the college parties I end up at. Being 25 years old, I have experience in male-female relations (not claiming to be an expert by any means) and can offer advice. That's what happened.
Without going into a long drawn out story and summing it up into a general sentence, one girl wanted to know if she should wait around for a guy she likes that doesn't know what he wants, or go for a guy that she doesn't necessarily like but she knows that she could get laid (she was horny and was tired of waiting, basically, though it's a bit more complicated than that). I offered her to get laid. She has needs and waiting around for a guy to emotionally drain her was not helping. So, she got laid last night, to put it bluntly. She had been thinking about this for a few weeks, from what I understand.
Needless to say, this got me thinking about myself. Though, I don't have that dilemma, I do understand the physicality that a woman needs and wants to feel. Since the start of the school year, I have met a couple of people who would like to get to know me better (if you know what I mean). Though I have not physically been with anyone that I met, it made me think that going into a physical relationship only complicates things (it has in the past). So why not just cut out the complication and just be celibate? Maybe that's something I should look into. I haven't been promiscuous for awhile (not giving a date) and I realize that without it, I can understand a real person without all the sexual innuendos. I don't need all of that. Besides, I don't have time for a physical, let alone emotional, relationship. So, I think from now on, I am vowing to be celibate. It worked for me before, so it should work for me again. Maybe it'll help me focus on things that I need to do (not that I'm readily distracted). We'll see.
So, here's to time number 2. Version: Celibacy, Think Again.
Thought that's not an excuse to take 10 minutes out of my day to blog, I am, quite literally, up to my neck in words. Which means, that I spend all my spare time, which isn't necessarily free in the sense of the word, reading books/plays/short stories. I have 3 Creative Writing classes and 1 Theater class. Life is all work and Friday night play for me.
Back to the point. I went to a store party last night on campus. It was 2 hours of free food and pool/video games/conversation. It was very nice to get out of the apartment and away from books for awhile. I conversed with some co-workers and played some very emotional games of pool with my fellow manager and bosses. It was quite fun.
After the party, everyone pretty much went on their own path and basically went back to their apartments for the night. A fellow manager, barista and I didn't want the the night to end so soon. With 2 other baristas, we decided that the 5 of us should take the party somewhere else. Since I go to school with a bunch of younger people, I am the token buyer of alcohol. We did a gas station run (which is a lot different than where I'm from) and bought some beer and alcoholic energy drinks (which taste like medicine). We basically spent the night getting to know each other and laughing. Typical college night, you could say.
The conversation turned into sex talk, which apparently happens at all of the college parties I end up at. Being 25 years old, I have experience in male-female relations (not claiming to be an expert by any means) and can offer advice. That's what happened.
Without going into a long drawn out story and summing it up into a general sentence, one girl wanted to know if she should wait around for a guy she likes that doesn't know what he wants, or go for a guy that she doesn't necessarily like but she knows that she could get laid (she was horny and was tired of waiting, basically, though it's a bit more complicated than that). I offered her to get laid. She has needs and waiting around for a guy to emotionally drain her was not helping. So, she got laid last night, to put it bluntly. She had been thinking about this for a few weeks, from what I understand.
Needless to say, this got me thinking about myself. Though, I don't have that dilemma, I do understand the physicality that a woman needs and wants to feel. Since the start of the school year, I have met a couple of people who would like to get to know me better (if you know what I mean). Though I have not physically been with anyone that I met, it made me think that going into a physical relationship only complicates things (it has in the past). So why not just cut out the complication and just be celibate? Maybe that's something I should look into. I haven't been promiscuous for awhile (not giving a date) and I realize that without it, I can understand a real person without all the sexual innuendos. I don't need all of that. Besides, I don't have time for a physical, let alone emotional, relationship. So, I think from now on, I am vowing to be celibate. It worked for me before, so it should work for me again. Maybe it'll help me focus on things that I need to do (not that I'm readily distracted). We'll see.
So, here's to time number 2. Version: Celibacy, Think Again.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Mind Control
Women, ladies, girls, whatever you want to be called...
DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THESE MEN!
Now before I get into my rant, I just watched an episode of Oprah today with my mom/aunt about these young girls who were married to some Christian cult leader. It got me thinking about being brainwashed and controlled by a man. I recently heard about a family member of mine being abused. I do not talk to this family member anymore, but if they were to read this they would know that I don't condone cowardice!
DISCLAIMER: My language may be a little vulgar, but I have to get it out and vent.
I will tell you right now, that I will be DAMNED if a man tells me that I have to follow his rules. Let him lay a hand on me and I will unleash the wrath of every woman who has ever been physically hurt.
Women...please tell me why you allow yourself to be pushed around and hit by a dude? What does he have that you don't? A Penis! That's it! You have heart and you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders every single day and you let a man harm you? HELL TO THE NO! Someone please explain to me why you let a man harm you? Why do you call the police and have them show up to your door and then tell them that "it was an accident"? You know darn well that it was not an accident. Have his ass arrested! The police would be at my door trying to arrest me because I cut him with a knife. Seriously? Don't test me! Ask my mom what she did to my dad when they were playing around and tickling each other (years ago) and he accidently hit her?: She woke him up at the crack of dawn and slapped him right across his face and said "don't think I was gonna let that slide just because we were playing...I don't want you to think that hitting me was okay." Granted this next example doesn't fit the mold exactly because I wasn't actually hit, but it's a good example at getting my point across: My brother was in my room one night and was drunk and was making a bunch of noise and I told him to be quiet or to get out and he did neither; I told him 2 more times and that last time I had had enough (mind you, I warned him that if he didn't do like I asked, he would get hit)he didn't listen so his lip got busted (had to put it out there, bro...let these ladies know what's up and how to defend themselves).
I want you all to see what it's like to defend yourself. You have the power to walk away from it. Don't say that you don't. My aunt walked away from her husband for the sake of her kids. Don't say "I have to stay for my kids" cause that's a lie. Your kids will benefit from you getting out of abuse.
If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, send them to me. I will open my doors and show you how to grow a pair and fight back.
Don't let a man treat you like dirt. Make him treat you like the queen you are. The minute he disrespects you, show him the door. You don't need him. Let him know who runs things. 9 times out of 10, he's insecure and that's why he belittles you.
DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THESE MEN!
Now before I get into my rant, I just watched an episode of Oprah today with my mom/aunt about these young girls who were married to some Christian cult leader. It got me thinking about being brainwashed and controlled by a man. I recently heard about a family member of mine being abused. I do not talk to this family member anymore, but if they were to read this they would know that I don't condone cowardice!
DISCLAIMER: My language may be a little vulgar, but I have to get it out and vent.
I will tell you right now, that I will be DAMNED if a man tells me that I have to follow his rules. Let him lay a hand on me and I will unleash the wrath of every woman who has ever been physically hurt.
Women...please tell me why you allow yourself to be pushed around and hit by a dude? What does he have that you don't? A Penis! That's it! You have heart and you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders every single day and you let a man harm you? HELL TO THE NO! Someone please explain to me why you let a man harm you? Why do you call the police and have them show up to your door and then tell them that "it was an accident"? You know darn well that it was not an accident. Have his ass arrested! The police would be at my door trying to arrest me because I cut him with a knife. Seriously? Don't test me! Ask my mom what she did to my dad when they were playing around and tickling each other (years ago) and he accidently hit her?: She woke him up at the crack of dawn and slapped him right across his face and said "don't think I was gonna let that slide just because we were playing...I don't want you to think that hitting me was okay." Granted this next example doesn't fit the mold exactly because I wasn't actually hit, but it's a good example at getting my point across: My brother was in my room one night and was drunk and was making a bunch of noise and I told him to be quiet or to get out and he did neither; I told him 2 more times and that last time I had had enough (mind you, I warned him that if he didn't do like I asked, he would get hit)he didn't listen so his lip got busted (had to put it out there, bro...let these ladies know what's up and how to defend themselves).
I want you all to see what it's like to defend yourself. You have the power to walk away from it. Don't say that you don't. My aunt walked away from her husband for the sake of her kids. Don't say "I have to stay for my kids" cause that's a lie. Your kids will benefit from you getting out of abuse.
If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, send them to me. I will open my doors and show you how to grow a pair and fight back.
Don't let a man treat you like dirt. Make him treat you like the queen you are. The minute he disrespects you, show him the door. You don't need him. Let him know who runs things. 9 times out of 10, he's insecure and that's why he belittles you.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Proper Hair Care
Since I just did my hair on Saturday in my standard set of 2-strand twists, I have noticed that my hair is extremely heat damaged! I have been nursing the front left side of my hair to its original curly state (when I was a little 6th grader). I remember the braids that I used to have and I miss that texture of my hair even though I don't necessarily miss the huge braids all over my head.
Even after all of these years, I can say that I am glad that my mom never ever relaxed my hair. I have been natural for all my life (thank goodness) but for the sake of versatility and acting roles, my hair is easier to tame in a straightened state. I am making the transition back to my natural hair state, but it is difficult. I have so much trouble trying to figure out how to style it. To be honest, I first started going back to natural for ease of my daily routine. School and work and shows were taking over my life from October 2009-June 2010.
I have been watching youtube videos since the dawn of time on natural hair trying to get the looks in the videos and maintaining the volume and length and care of my natural hair. Even though I did my hair on Saturday (and today's Thursday), it's already flaky and itchy and it might be because of the shampoo.
Now getting on to shampoo. Because I was watching all of the videos on natural hair on youtube, I have been hearing so much about sulfate shampoos and the harm they cause. Me being the investigative person that I am, I went to do some research on the wide-encompassing internet. I learned that sulfate shampoos cause quite a bit of harm to your hair. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (or SLS as it is abbreviated) is used frequently in consumer products and is harsh enough to degrease car engines and clean oil. It's salt (SODIUM) which draws out moisture from everything, including the natural oils on our scalp that protects our hair follicles and causes split ends. We are putting that in our hair! I don't even want to know what kind of damage it's doing to my scalp (well, the dryness is prime example of the damage). It's close relative is Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLES).
After I use the rest of my Mane 'n' Tail (yes, you read right...it was originally meant for horses, but is in black beauty supply stores...besides, I'd like to think that it helps my hair grow, which it has to an extent), I will be switching to another shampoo and conditioner that is sulfate-free. It's going to be an experiment for me. I have quite some time before the Mane 'N' Tail is gone. If it turns out that I don't like the sulfate-free shampoo, I will be switching back to my Mane 'n' Tail. Hopefully not.
Even after all of these years, I can say that I am glad that my mom never ever relaxed my hair. I have been natural for all my life (thank goodness) but for the sake of versatility and acting roles, my hair is easier to tame in a straightened state. I am making the transition back to my natural hair state, but it is difficult. I have so much trouble trying to figure out how to style it. To be honest, I first started going back to natural for ease of my daily routine. School and work and shows were taking over my life from October 2009-June 2010.
I have been watching youtube videos since the dawn of time on natural hair trying to get the looks in the videos and maintaining the volume and length and care of my natural hair. Even though I did my hair on Saturday (and today's Thursday), it's already flaky and itchy and it might be because of the shampoo.
Now getting on to shampoo. Because I was watching all of the videos on natural hair on youtube, I have been hearing so much about sulfate shampoos and the harm they cause. Me being the investigative person that I am, I went to do some research on the wide-encompassing internet. I learned that sulfate shampoos cause quite a bit of harm to your hair. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (or SLS as it is abbreviated) is used frequently in consumer products and is harsh enough to degrease car engines and clean oil. It's salt (SODIUM) which draws out moisture from everything, including the natural oils on our scalp that protects our hair follicles and causes split ends. We are putting that in our hair! I don't even want to know what kind of damage it's doing to my scalp (well, the dryness is prime example of the damage). It's close relative is Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLES).
After I use the rest of my Mane 'n' Tail (yes, you read right...it was originally meant for horses, but is in black beauty supply stores...besides, I'd like to think that it helps my hair grow, which it has to an extent), I will be switching to another shampoo and conditioner that is sulfate-free. It's going to be an experiment for me. I have quite some time before the Mane 'N' Tail is gone. If it turns out that I don't like the sulfate-free shampoo, I will be switching back to my Mane 'n' Tail. Hopefully not.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Fruit is magical
Can I just say that fruit is the root of all things wonderful in this world? Well, it is! If you didn't know, get on the train cause it's leaving!
My family has decided that Sunday is our day to go to Sprouts Market and get fruit...as much of it as we can. Last Sunday, as an accident, we went to Sprouts to get fruit because we forgot to get it when we were at Costco. We bought lots of fruit for around $20. This time, we spent about $30 and got apples, plums, nectarines, pears, 2 cantaloupe, 2 yellow melon with orange flesh, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries (I think that's it).
Anyway, I stood in the kitchen and melon-balled every single melon. It took a long time, but that means that in a rush we can grab a bag and run out of the door. I had so much fruit last week that I am surprised I didn't turn into a fruit salad! The most fruit I had in one day was banana, peach, apple, watermelon and cantaloupe all in about 30 minutes as I walked to work. It was pretty crazy. I got to work and I was full and satisfied, but not completely overwhelmed by food like I sometimes feel when I eat meat. I'm not saying that I don't like eating meat, but I like a light lunch that's going to hold me up, not drag me under the espresso machine or sitting on the floor in front of the refrigerator, yearning for the floor mat to be my comfy pillowtop mattress at home. I like the energy the fruit gave me because it didn't require a fork and knife which meant that I could eat it with ease.
Suggestion: Take the time to melon-ball/seperate the fruit into ziploc baggies while you have the chance instead of trying to seperate everything at one time in the morning when you have other things to do. I know that I'm usually running around because there's something I forgot to clean, I have to brush my hair, etc.
I just wanted to leave those tips with you. If you would like, I'll give you more Jasmine-isms and things that I've learned in my 25 years of life.
Quick question: Have you ever forgiven someone you felt you shouldn't have?
Much love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
P.S. Pictures of the food from the tapas party on Saturday night will be up soon. No one came to it, so it was just the family.
My family has decided that Sunday is our day to go to Sprouts Market and get fruit...as much of it as we can. Last Sunday, as an accident, we went to Sprouts to get fruit because we forgot to get it when we were at Costco. We bought lots of fruit for around $20. This time, we spent about $30 and got apples, plums, nectarines, pears, 2 cantaloupe, 2 yellow melon with orange flesh, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries (I think that's it).
Anyway, I stood in the kitchen and melon-balled every single melon. It took a long time, but that means that in a rush we can grab a bag and run out of the door. I had so much fruit last week that I am surprised I didn't turn into a fruit salad! The most fruit I had in one day was banana, peach, apple, watermelon and cantaloupe all in about 30 minutes as I walked to work. It was pretty crazy. I got to work and I was full and satisfied, but not completely overwhelmed by food like I sometimes feel when I eat meat. I'm not saying that I don't like eating meat, but I like a light lunch that's going to hold me up, not drag me under the espresso machine or sitting on the floor in front of the refrigerator, yearning for the floor mat to be my comfy pillowtop mattress at home. I like the energy the fruit gave me because it didn't require a fork and knife which meant that I could eat it with ease.
Suggestion: Take the time to melon-ball/seperate the fruit into ziploc baggies while you have the chance instead of trying to seperate everything at one time in the morning when you have other things to do. I know that I'm usually running around because there's something I forgot to clean, I have to brush my hair, etc.
I just wanted to leave those tips with you. If you would like, I'll give you more Jasmine-isms and things that I've learned in my 25 years of life.
Quick question: Have you ever forgiven someone you felt you shouldn't have?
Much love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
P.S. Pictures of the food from the tapas party on Saturday night will be up soon. No one came to it, so it was just the family.
A lot of people struggle with forgiveness of others who have done them wrong. Have you ever forgiven someone who rightfully deserves never to be talked to? What is forgiveness to you?
A lot of people struggle with forgiveness of others who have done them wrong. Have you ever forgiven someone who rightfully deserves never to be talked to? What is forgiveness to you?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Give me your tired and irritated
Happy Monday night/Tuesday morning everyone!
I am not here to complain, but to comment.
Coffee shops breed very intimate conversations (this has nothing to do with what I am really here to discuss, but it came to mind).
Anyway, I must have a sign plastered to my head that says "I trust Jasmine. I trust her opinion." I was at work today and a co-worker of mine asked me my opinion on an issue he was having with a band member who happens to be his best friend. To make a long story short, his best friend thinks that he is entitled to make his opinions known but if the feelings are reciprocated, the tables don't turn as easily as it should. This band-member frustration is not the first I've ever heard of this type of inner turmoil. Believe it or not, another friend of mine came to me about his best-friend-turned-band-mate drama over a couple of Hefeweizens at The Auld Dubliner. I offered my advice and told him to confront his friend about whatever was going on instead of keeping it bottled in.
The point of this story is to say that I have been the one person in many persons' lives that have been a constant head and shoulder to leave the drama on. There are many people I know who will call me up after not hearing from them for awhile to say "Jasmine, can I ask you something?" or "Hey, what do you think of this situation?" I can truly appreciate the title and the fact that they trust me enough to rely on me with the problems. I'm not saying that only members of bands lean on me, but others too. I like the fact that people can trust me enough to help them out. I haven't lived a long time and I can't say that I'm wise beyond my years (though some people would say so), but I am trustworthy and what I have seen is a lot.
Although I am this trustworthy person and open vessel, I wonder if I can truly say that there is a person I can call up and say "Hey, can I ask your opinion on this?" and get a barrage of facts and just common sense I don't think that I'm there yet. Maybe it's because I have enough common sense to know when things aren't right and who's in the wrong. But sometimes, I want to just call up someone and say "I don't get this" because I want to feel that connection with someone like people feel with me. I want to feel that extreme amount of trust (not to say that I don't trust people, but just go with me) and just let it all out when I'm feeling lost and irritated. Instead, I go home and tell my mom. So, I guess she would be my most trustworthy person.
So, I'm asking you.
Who do you trust? Whose mind can you unload all your inner thoughts and troubles on?
Much love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
Currently rotating:
"Everything Scatter" from FELA! [Original Broadway Cast Recording]
"Bionic" by Christina Aguilera from the album BIONIC
"Hosanna" by Soweto Gospel Choir from the album AFRICAN SPIRIT
I am not here to complain, but to comment.
Coffee shops breed very intimate conversations (this has nothing to do with what I am really here to discuss, but it came to mind).
Anyway, I must have a sign plastered to my head that says "I trust Jasmine. I trust her opinion." I was at work today and a co-worker of mine asked me my opinion on an issue he was having with a band member who happens to be his best friend. To make a long story short, his best friend thinks that he is entitled to make his opinions known but if the feelings are reciprocated, the tables don't turn as easily as it should. This band-member frustration is not the first I've ever heard of this type of inner turmoil. Believe it or not, another friend of mine came to me about his best-friend-turned-band-mate drama over a couple of Hefeweizens at The Auld Dubliner. I offered my advice and told him to confront his friend about whatever was going on instead of keeping it bottled in.
The point of this story is to say that I have been the one person in many persons' lives that have been a constant head and shoulder to leave the drama on. There are many people I know who will call me up after not hearing from them for awhile to say "Jasmine, can I ask you something?" or "Hey, what do you think of this situation?" I can truly appreciate the title and the fact that they trust me enough to rely on me with the problems. I'm not saying that only members of bands lean on me, but others too. I like the fact that people can trust me enough to help them out. I haven't lived a long time and I can't say that I'm wise beyond my years (though some people would say so), but I am trustworthy and what I have seen is a lot.
Although I am this trustworthy person and open vessel, I wonder if I can truly say that there is a person I can call up and say "Hey, can I ask your opinion on this?" and get a barrage of facts and just common sense I don't think that I'm there yet. Maybe it's because I have enough common sense to know when things aren't right and who's in the wrong. But sometimes, I want to just call up someone and say "I don't get this" because I want to feel that connection with someone like people feel with me. I want to feel that extreme amount of trust (not to say that I don't trust people, but just go with me) and just let it all out when I'm feeling lost and irritated. Instead, I go home and tell my mom. So, I guess she would be my most trustworthy person.
So, I'm asking you.
Who do you trust? Whose mind can you unload all your inner thoughts and troubles on?
Much love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
Currently rotating:
"Everything Scatter" from FELA! [Original Broadway Cast Recording]
"Bionic" by Christina Aguilera from the album BIONIC
"Hosanna" by Soweto Gospel Choir from the album AFRICAN SPIRIT
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
I appreciate the gesture, but...
So, I just have to comment on the events of this morning on my way to work.
As most of you know, I work at a coffee shop and I don't have a car (but I'm working on it, BELIEVE ME), so I walk to work. Look, I love my ipod. I have affectionately named it Musicology: Reborn after the first ipod that got full. Anyway, I was walking to work and listening to a podcast called Broadway Bullet (go figure!). When I have my earbuds in, I hate getting interrupted. Back to my peaceful suburban stroll: I am enjoying the sights of green grass and blue sky and the sounds of conversation on my ipod when a navy blue Honda pulls up to the curb and stops. I barely glance through my Burberry sunglasses and see the window rolled down. I thought it was some black guy trying to holler at me (it wouldn't be the first time that it's happened to me in Irvine, of all places) and in fact it was a black woman. She leaned over the console and asked where I was heading. I politely told her that I was just heading up the street and she asked if I was sure and I politely said again (in my proper white-girl voice) that I was sure. She said okay and drove off.
I was shocked that this black woman would drive by and ask me this. I didn't even know her. I don't know what it is about black people living in suburbs. For example, anytime I go to Albertson's and there's a black person in there at the same time, they seem to break their neck to come around the store and say hi. I sometimes feel like they follow me. I know that it's a mutual connection that they feel but they don't always have to feel like they need to go out of their way to say hi. I just want to say, where were all the black people when I was growing up? Now that I am an adult, I have been seeing more and more black people in Irvine. I'm not complaining by any means, but it's just that it's awkward when all you know are the other races around you.
It's funny that I complained about there not being any black people around when I was younger. And at that time, I didn't have any black friends because I felt like I connected with everyone else who was familiar with my upbringing. Now that I am in college, I have many more friends of color than I ever thought I would (no offense to the ones I have, but you just have to understand where I'm coming from). The only black people I ever knew growing up was my family. They don't count. I had a few black friends but the ones I had met judged me from so far away that I felt uncomfortable and just belittled for being a suburbanite. One time, I went to my cousin's graduation barbecue and I was introduced to some of her closest friends. One girl shook my hand and said these exact words: You're not from around here, are you? I mean, am I that obvious? Do I stick out like a sore thumb? I'm black just like all the other black people in the world. Yes, I carry myself in a different manner but it's not just where I was brought up but also who brought me up. It's my mother's doing.
Basically what I am trying to say is that I appreciate the gesture that my "people" make toward me, but it gets in the way of truly appreciating you for what you are. To my college "people", thank you for transforming my views. Before college, I thought that all black people would walk by me and immediately see the word "suburbanite" or "Irvine-ite" tattooed across my forehead and assume the worst of me. I am not innocent in thinking that black people would look at me the wrong way and want to take me out (that's my suburban-upbringing). I am thankful that God has put such wonderful people in my life to help me see that I was ignorant in my own way of thinking. I love my "people" and will continue to cherish the friendships they bring me each and every day.
Much love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
As most of you know, I work at a coffee shop and I don't have a car (but I'm working on it, BELIEVE ME), so I walk to work. Look, I love my ipod. I have affectionately named it Musicology: Reborn after the first ipod that got full. Anyway, I was walking to work and listening to a podcast called Broadway Bullet (go figure!). When I have my earbuds in, I hate getting interrupted. Back to my peaceful suburban stroll: I am enjoying the sights of green grass and blue sky and the sounds of conversation on my ipod when a navy blue Honda pulls up to the curb and stops. I barely glance through my Burberry sunglasses and see the window rolled down. I thought it was some black guy trying to holler at me (it wouldn't be the first time that it's happened to me in Irvine, of all places) and in fact it was a black woman. She leaned over the console and asked where I was heading. I politely told her that I was just heading up the street and she asked if I was sure and I politely said again (in my proper white-girl voice) that I was sure. She said okay and drove off.
I was shocked that this black woman would drive by and ask me this. I didn't even know her. I don't know what it is about black people living in suburbs. For example, anytime I go to Albertson's and there's a black person in there at the same time, they seem to break their neck to come around the store and say hi. I sometimes feel like they follow me. I know that it's a mutual connection that they feel but they don't always have to feel like they need to go out of their way to say hi. I just want to say, where were all the black people when I was growing up? Now that I am an adult, I have been seeing more and more black people in Irvine. I'm not complaining by any means, but it's just that it's awkward when all you know are the other races around you.
It's funny that I complained about there not being any black people around when I was younger. And at that time, I didn't have any black friends because I felt like I connected with everyone else who was familiar with my upbringing. Now that I am in college, I have many more friends of color than I ever thought I would (no offense to the ones I have, but you just have to understand where I'm coming from). The only black people I ever knew growing up was my family. They don't count. I had a few black friends but the ones I had met judged me from so far away that I felt uncomfortable and just belittled for being a suburbanite. One time, I went to my cousin's graduation barbecue and I was introduced to some of her closest friends. One girl shook my hand and said these exact words: You're not from around here, are you? I mean, am I that obvious? Do I stick out like a sore thumb? I'm black just like all the other black people in the world. Yes, I carry myself in a different manner but it's not just where I was brought up but also who brought me up. It's my mother's doing.
Basically what I am trying to say is that I appreciate the gesture that my "people" make toward me, but it gets in the way of truly appreciating you for what you are. To my college "people", thank you for transforming my views. Before college, I thought that all black people would walk by me and immediately see the word "suburbanite" or "Irvine-ite" tattooed across my forehead and assume the worst of me. I am not innocent in thinking that black people would look at me the wrong way and want to take me out (that's my suburban-upbringing). I am thankful that God has put such wonderful people in my life to help me see that I was ignorant in my own way of thinking. I love my "people" and will continue to cherish the friendships they bring me each and every day.
Much love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
Name 5 of your favorite songs to sing (Musicals or otherwise).
Name 5 of your favorite songs to sing (Musicals or otherwise).
Monday, August 2, 2010
Creativity is key
I have been gone for some time due to a job I have now!
Yay!
At the time of the last post, I was jobless (but just basically waiting on my real job to hurry up with the processing of paperwork). Now, I am happily working 5 days a week and trying to make that "paper" that I can't really spend anyway (see last post: RENT). Being the naturally creative person that I am, I have found that this summer is leading me to do creative things that I don't normally do on a regular basis. Because I didn't have money and don't technically have any still, I was forced to come up with things to do to entertain myself. I was bored one day last quarter and started watching makeup tutorials on youtube. So, I decided to kill some time without spending money and began playing in my makeup and coming up with pretty cool makeup looks, only using half of my face. And I have even started killing time (and my boredom) by polishing the nails that I'm not supposed to have polished because I work at a coffee shop (toes are okay to polish though). I am even working on youtube videos of me singing and dancing and edit them using Microsoft Movie Maker. I have no complaints about wanting to kill time because it makes the summer pass with creativity!
So here are some of the pictures of my experiments with makeup.
I don't have a name for this look, but I really liked it and hopefully I can mimic it someday.
I call this look Toucan Sam. The colors didn't come out like I wanted them to on the camera, but I love the islandy-tropical look. Very cute.
I am suggesting to everyone right now that if you find yourself bored, do something to pass the time and be creative with it. By creating little art projects or things, you get to actually keep your mind active instead of mindlessly watching television (which I know I am guilty of).
Until next time,
Love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
By the way, shout out to my mom Adrienne and aunt Adrianna. Today is officially their birthday! Love you!
Yay!
At the time of the last post, I was jobless (but just basically waiting on my real job to hurry up with the processing of paperwork). Now, I am happily working 5 days a week and trying to make that "paper" that I can't really spend anyway (see last post: RENT). Being the naturally creative person that I am, I have found that this summer is leading me to do creative things that I don't normally do on a regular basis. Because I didn't have money and don't technically have any still, I was forced to come up with things to do to entertain myself. I was bored one day last quarter and started watching makeup tutorials on youtube. So, I decided to kill some time without spending money and began playing in my makeup and coming up with pretty cool makeup looks, only using half of my face. And I have even started killing time (and my boredom) by polishing the nails that I'm not supposed to have polished because I work at a coffee shop (toes are okay to polish though). I am even working on youtube videos of me singing and dancing and edit them using Microsoft Movie Maker. I have no complaints about wanting to kill time because it makes the summer pass with creativity!
So here are some of the pictures of my experiments with makeup.
I don't have a name for this look, but I really liked it and hopefully I can mimic it someday.
I call this look Toucan Sam. The colors didn't come out like I wanted them to on the camera, but I love the islandy-tropical look. Very cute.I am suggesting to everyone right now that if you find yourself bored, do something to pass the time and be creative with it. By creating little art projects or things, you get to actually keep your mind active instead of mindlessly watching television (which I know I am guilty of).
Until next time,
Love, peace and happiness!
DEUCES!
By the way, shout out to my mom Adrienne and aunt Adrianna. Today is officially their birthday! Love you!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Friendship
The past couple of months have been a bit of a wreck for me because I have been without money. I worry a lot and I can proudly say that I have got a few gray hairs to prove the case for my "worrisome heart", to quote Melody Gardot. Since school let out, I have been frantically trying to make money so I can pay my rent when September 1st rolls around.
Enough about the negative...
After I got off work on Thursday, I was kind of in a funk and was feeling pretty left out on life and reflecting on my personal relationships. I am in no way knocking any of the friendships that I have, but this summer has been more about self reflection than about anything else. I do a lot of reading and analyzing to keep my mind busy and not on my financial woes. To get back on topic, I was feeling kind of down and just thinking about life. To be honest, I was scared about one of my friendships that I currently have. So, instead of sulking about it and adding more worry to an already completely pre-occupied mind, I wrote about it in my "journal", which is not really my journal, but has life reflections and thoughts and poetry and short stories and ideas (things of a random nature, but I keep it in order to keep everything together so if creativity strikes, I don't need to hunt for paper...and I have all creative writing in one place). In my reflection, I realized that there is a person who has stood by my side for years and I never realized that they were such a good friend. Her and I have known each other for years and were just friends and the more we hung out, I realized that she became a really good friend. We have had fights and arguements and we always manage to come back to each other with a stronger friendship and appreciation for what we do for each other.
I was feeling so great about this self discovery that I had to get together with her and tell her how I really felt. With my money troubles still in my pocket (or lack thereof, lol), we decided to keep it a really relaxing and calming Friday afternoon and went to the grocery store and found $0.50 bags of hamburger buns and made a trip to the lake in the center of Irvine and fed the ducks. We sat around and talked about what friendships really were all about because that's why I really wanted to get together in the first place. I had to get it off my chest that I really thought about us as friends and how we grew. I confessed to her that she was officially, in my heart, a best friend.
We shared a teary-eyed hug and said our newfound mantra: I will never give up on you. It's the culmination of confession and heartfelt love for each other and the desire for us to succeed in other personal relationships and endeavors, wherever our lives may lead us. This friendship has proven to me that I can have a loving relationship without sacrificing my own beliefs and I can have that while being completely truthful to myself and her without a filter. Now I know what a real friendship is supposed to be like. It's going through ups and downs and giving a little breathing room to come back and grow from the incident and not holding grudges. This is a grudge free friendship and I am happy and thankful to God for putting Christine in my life and transforming my self respect into something I deserve.
Enough about the negative...
After I got off work on Thursday, I was kind of in a funk and was feeling pretty left out on life and reflecting on my personal relationships. I am in no way knocking any of the friendships that I have, but this summer has been more about self reflection than about anything else. I do a lot of reading and analyzing to keep my mind busy and not on my financial woes. To get back on topic, I was feeling kind of down and just thinking about life. To be honest, I was scared about one of my friendships that I currently have. So, instead of sulking about it and adding more worry to an already completely pre-occupied mind, I wrote about it in my "journal", which is not really my journal, but has life reflections and thoughts and poetry and short stories and ideas (things of a random nature, but I keep it in order to keep everything together so if creativity strikes, I don't need to hunt for paper...and I have all creative writing in one place). In my reflection, I realized that there is a person who has stood by my side for years and I never realized that they were such a good friend. Her and I have known each other for years and were just friends and the more we hung out, I realized that she became a really good friend. We have had fights and arguements and we always manage to come back to each other with a stronger friendship and appreciation for what we do for each other.
I was feeling so great about this self discovery that I had to get together with her and tell her how I really felt. With my money troubles still in my pocket (or lack thereof, lol), we decided to keep it a really relaxing and calming Friday afternoon and went to the grocery store and found $0.50 bags of hamburger buns and made a trip to the lake in the center of Irvine and fed the ducks. We sat around and talked about what friendships really were all about because that's why I really wanted to get together in the first place. I had to get it off my chest that I really thought about us as friends and how we grew. I confessed to her that she was officially, in my heart, a best friend.
We shared a teary-eyed hug and said our newfound mantra: I will never give up on you. It's the culmination of confession and heartfelt love for each other and the desire for us to succeed in other personal relationships and endeavors, wherever our lives may lead us. This friendship has proven to me that I can have a loving relationship without sacrificing my own beliefs and I can have that while being completely truthful to myself and her without a filter. Now I know what a real friendship is supposed to be like. It's going through ups and downs and giving a little breathing room to come back and grow from the incident and not holding grudges. This is a grudge free friendship and I am happy and thankful to God for putting Christine in my life and transforming my self respect into something I deserve.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
If you could only listen to one song for the next month, which would it be?
Oh man! I usually go on binges like this too.
Okay..."Love Is My Disease" by Alicia Keys (who is pregnant, by the way...with Swizz Beatz baby! Wtf? He's not even cute!)
What was your favorite TV show as a child?
There were many!
1. Power Rangers
2. Family Matters
3. Blossom
4. Animaniacs
5. X-Men
What's one thing you own that you should probably throw away, but never will?
Prom dresses! I have only worn them once and have not been to any formal engagements since then.
What's the nicest thing someone's ever done for you?
Hmm...that's tough. I don't even think I can answer that...
Paid for my cruise to Mexico.
If you could write your own character for you to play, what would that character be like?
An emotional character with a little bit of humor thrown in. I've always wanted to play someone who just goes plain crazy!
Friday, June 4, 2010
If you had the opportunity to live one year of your life over again, which year would you choose?
Hmm...My senior year of High School. 2002-2003 was a great year for me. I had so much going on, but I loved it!
If you were offered the job of U.S. president would you take the job?
No. Too much stress and I don't have solutions to the problems that are plagueing the U.S.
What YouTube video made you laugh recently?
A male parody of "If I Were A Boy" (affectionately titled "If I Were A Girl")
Who's the most overrated athlete?
LeBron James. His attitude makes him so ugly and I have no respect for his mother. Gross.
What was the worst job you've ever had?
Seeing as I've only worked 2 places ever in my life, I would have to say Alexanders Mobility Services, though the only good part was that I got paid to basically listen to my ipod.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
If you could have the starring role in one movie what would it be?
DREAMGIRLS! *such an easy question*
What do you think is the best way to defeat terrorism?
Let a woman run the country and she'll use her power of discussing feelings to make it go away.
Would you rather work at a large company or a small one?
Small...I mean, Coffee Bean is pretty small compared to the competition, and I wouldn't trade my job (unless I working at a high school or a theater)
Would you rather get up early or sleep late?
Get up early. If I sleep too long, I feel like my day has been wasted and I have done nothing at all. Unless I have had an insane amount of alcohol the night before, then I'll sleep late.
What website do you spend the most time on?
That's pretty easy...Facebook. It's the one place I can keep in contact with people and I can find out about the current events since I can't read the newspaper anymore! I wish I had more morning free time like I used to in Irvine...
If you could switch places with anyone in your family for one week, who would it be and why?
I would switch places with my cousin Angel to figure what goes on in her mind...NO! I take that back. I'd switch with my aunt LaTanya. She works for Boeing and gets to travel the world ALONE! She's been to Nassau, Italy, Australia, and Fiji (that I know of) all by herself because she had the money and she was bored. Why she couldn't take her neice, is beyond me!
How long have you been singing? What's your favorite song to sing? Have you been trained through classes or are you naturally amazing?
I have been singing since I was 5. My mom discovered me singing when were cleaning the house and she couldn't believe that I could sing so she turned down the music I was singing to in the house and made me sing along.
Oh goodness...my favorite song? That's too hard. I sing so many songs that make me happy to sing. I would have to say "Your Daddy's Son" from the musical RAGTIME.
I have never had any formal singing lessons. I just learn it from listening and practicing on my own all the time. Experimenting with what my limits are. I am just naturally amazing. Lol.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Attention Ladies
I was talking to my roommate about a book that I had seen everywhere. I knew it was destiny for me to read it. I bought the book on a trip to KMart with my other roommate when we had nothing to do one day after class. I was excited to read it, but of course, being a student, took over my life. I finally had the time to crack it open today after I successfully completed 2 of 4 finals.
Last week, I went to see SEX AND THE CITY 2 with a couple of my ladies and guess what preview showed up on the screen? EAT, PRAY, LOVE with JULIA ROBERTS! So, of course I immediately jumped on the chance to read the book and what better way to start my traditional "Summer of Reading" than a feel good book about self-discovery.
I read the first section of the book about Italy and fell in love. Now I want to personally experience what Elizabeth Gilbert did. All of the descriptions of the food made me want to indulge completely and numbingly into great Italian creations and not have to worry about the consequences of my waist band.
To Elizabeth Gilbert, thank you for sharing your story because I feel like now I can fully share mine with no remorse. There are things about me that need to change and through your work, I can attack it in my own way. While I don't have money to spend a year in 3 different places, I can take the time to remove myself from the world and focus on me.
Ladies, I suggest every woman read this book. It's a great read but also leads to discovery of yourself.
Last week, I went to see SEX AND THE CITY 2 with a couple of my ladies and guess what preview showed up on the screen? EAT, PRAY, LOVE with JULIA ROBERTS! So, of course I immediately jumped on the chance to read the book and what better way to start my traditional "Summer of Reading" than a feel good book about self-discovery.
I read the first section of the book about Italy and fell in love. Now I want to personally experience what Elizabeth Gilbert did. All of the descriptions of the food made me want to indulge completely and numbingly into great Italian creations and not have to worry about the consequences of my waist band.
To Elizabeth Gilbert, thank you for sharing your story because I feel like now I can fully share mine with no remorse. There are things about me that need to change and through your work, I can attack it in my own way. While I don't have money to spend a year in 3 different places, I can take the time to remove myself from the world and focus on me.
Ladies, I suggest every woman read this book. It's a great read but also leads to discovery of yourself.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Bangin' Body Bootcamp Challenge!
So, it's Sunday night and I totally forgot to make a video for this challenge. I am committing myself to being in shape for life. I can't keep letting life get in the way, which is always my excuse. I need to put myself first and with this challenge, I will learn to put myself first and then the rest of the people that matter to me will be right in line and it will be a natural progression. I hope that you will follow with me because it would be great to have a support system. My journey starts tomorrow and I am pretty stoked to be honest. I thought I was going to be half involved in it and half not. But that is not the case.
I'm still at the deciding stage of whether or not I want to keep a food journal. I know what it is that I eat, but I know that it helps other people keep tabs of what they're eating. In my opinion, for me, it doesn't help simply because I don't eat many bad things. I know I slip up, but the point is not to be on a diet, but to choose healthier options and if I feel that I have eaten too many bad things, then I'll change that. I'll have a better wording for this later.
I will also be posting recipes and things that I make that are really good that are full of flavor and are good for you. As some of you may or may not know, I am the *queen* of cooking. I love everything about it and I come up with great recipes for my dinners and quick lunches too. I'll post tips that work for me throughout the day and other things of that nature.
Until then, agree to join with me and we can have bangin' bodies just in time for the summer (for the Vegas people, we will be looking something gorgeous by the end of June) and be healthy and fit for life. I don't want this to be a 30-day challenge because once the 30 days are over, where are you at? Right back where you started. I am not saying it's going to be easy and I have my work cut out for me, but motivation and Christ are keeping me focused (it doesn't have to be about Christ for you, but at least motivation). Make a pact with yourself...not with me.
I'm still at the deciding stage of whether or not I want to keep a food journal. I know what it is that I eat, but I know that it helps other people keep tabs of what they're eating. In my opinion, for me, it doesn't help simply because I don't eat many bad things. I know I slip up, but the point is not to be on a diet, but to choose healthier options and if I feel that I have eaten too many bad things, then I'll change that. I'll have a better wording for this later.
I will also be posting recipes and things that I make that are really good that are full of flavor and are good for you. As some of you may or may not know, I am the *queen* of cooking. I love everything about it and I come up with great recipes for my dinners and quick lunches too. I'll post tips that work for me throughout the day and other things of that nature.
Until then, agree to join with me and we can have bangin' bodies just in time for the summer (for the Vegas people, we will be looking something gorgeous by the end of June) and be healthy and fit for life. I don't want this to be a 30-day challenge because once the 30 days are over, where are you at? Right back where you started. I am not saying it's going to be easy and I have my work cut out for me, but motivation and Christ are keeping me focused (it doesn't have to be about Christ for you, but at least motivation). Make a pact with yourself...not with me.
Night
*PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THE FOLLOWING IS A LITTLE VULGAR*
This is a prose poem.
I sniff and breathe you in. Your skin smells of scented flowers with a touch of vanilla. You make me swoon and I can't imagine what it would be like to taste you. I've never tasted you, or any woman before, but you make me want to. Your cool skin calls me to kiss you to make you warm. Your milky skin screams for my fingers to swim in the sea of you. Your lack of attention to me makes me want you even more. Here we sit, on the couch of a small apartment, watching AWAY WE GO, and thinking about what we want to do to each other. I sit up from my fondling and get back into the movie. I can see from the corner of my eye that your posture is inviting me into you space. I restrain myself and hope that you want me like I want you. The feeling comes back and I am right where I started. I fondle every inch of you including your calf muscle and foot. It's soft to the touch. I can't help myself, so I caress the small of your back and search for the wing tattoos anchoring on the edge of pleasuredom. I find them and move my hands further up your back to feel what every inch of you feels like. The more and more I move up your back, the more I gently kiss your arms and leave my partial prints of desire. My fingers create a path to the front of you and find the lining of material. They want to feel what's underneath and increase your feelings of desire. They touch more fleshy skin and crave to feel the complete being. Now they enlist help from the other fingers and undo the bra from the back. Now they can freely roam the mounds that give you your great female figure. Both hands are exploring more of your body and reach the cleavage. The tank top straps come off of your shoulders as the fingers make their way to your neck then to the cheek then to the lips that are warming with desire for my lips. But my lips want to tease yours for a bit so they don't touch. Instead, my lips yearn to breathe life and sexuality into your ear. You hear it calling out to you and you respond. I know because your lips part and you breathe in response and then your teeth want part of the action so they join, as one, with your lips and they bite down on your lip out of jealousy. Your breath is still responding. My teeth now want to join in on the secret and make their presence known to your ear. Your breath really wants to make its opinion known and exhales deeply that I can feel it within the depths of my organs. My lips can't wait any longer and want to meet yours. It happens and our breathing becomes one as passion takes over me and we lie down together. It's no secret to any of our body parts about what's going on. The passion intensifies and I can't help but bite your nipples. You moan and bite your lip again because it feels so good to you. I love to hear you moan and my passion grows. I've never tasted a woman before and I want you to be my first. I can't wait so I ask if I can taste you. Like most people, I can't get your pants down as easily as I'd like but you help me out. I kiss your cleavage all the way down to your "happy trail". I finger you and let you feel my warmth and touch inside of you. You sigh and let out your sexual frustration because you haven't been helped in a long time. I let my tongue take over and your body gives into the feeling. Your breathing intensifies and I go deeper inside you with my tongue. Your moan softens but your body starts to convulse. This is how I know you've fully succumbed to my skills. I suck on your clit and your moan and body convulsions intensify. I slide my fingers inside you while I eat you out. You tasted so good to me and I want more of you. I want your fluids in my mouth and all over my hand. This is exactly what I imagined it to be. You are everything I expected. I come up for air and relish in the moment and watch your face and body come into me. I can't help myself, so I say "come. Come for me baby." Eventually, your body rears back over the arm of the couch and I whisper louder "come on baby...come for me." Your moaning and breathing are so in sync that they sound like one. I go in and out so fast with my fingers that your body is lifting off the couch in enjoyment. This is what you want. This is what you needed and I gave it to you. You orgasm and I tasted you and kiss you back up to your mouth. You grab my neck and hold tight and this is how you say thank you. I kiss everywhere on your body to help you wind down and you caress my head and face and smile. This is what I wanted to do for you.
This is a prose poem.
I sniff and breathe you in. Your skin smells of scented flowers with a touch of vanilla. You make me swoon and I can't imagine what it would be like to taste you. I've never tasted you, or any woman before, but you make me want to. Your cool skin calls me to kiss you to make you warm. Your milky skin screams for my fingers to swim in the sea of you. Your lack of attention to me makes me want you even more. Here we sit, on the couch of a small apartment, watching AWAY WE GO, and thinking about what we want to do to each other. I sit up from my fondling and get back into the movie. I can see from the corner of my eye that your posture is inviting me into you space. I restrain myself and hope that you want me like I want you. The feeling comes back and I am right where I started. I fondle every inch of you including your calf muscle and foot. It's soft to the touch. I can't help myself, so I caress the small of your back and search for the wing tattoos anchoring on the edge of pleasuredom. I find them and move my hands further up your back to feel what every inch of you feels like. The more and more I move up your back, the more I gently kiss your arms and leave my partial prints of desire. My fingers create a path to the front of you and find the lining of material. They want to feel what's underneath and increase your feelings of desire. They touch more fleshy skin and crave to feel the complete being. Now they enlist help from the other fingers and undo the bra from the back. Now they can freely roam the mounds that give you your great female figure. Both hands are exploring more of your body and reach the cleavage. The tank top straps come off of your shoulders as the fingers make their way to your neck then to the cheek then to the lips that are warming with desire for my lips. But my lips want to tease yours for a bit so they don't touch. Instead, my lips yearn to breathe life and sexuality into your ear. You hear it calling out to you and you respond. I know because your lips part and you breathe in response and then your teeth want part of the action so they join, as one, with your lips and they bite down on your lip out of jealousy. Your breath is still responding. My teeth now want to join in on the secret and make their presence known to your ear. Your breath really wants to make its opinion known and exhales deeply that I can feel it within the depths of my organs. My lips can't wait any longer and want to meet yours. It happens and our breathing becomes one as passion takes over me and we lie down together. It's no secret to any of our body parts about what's going on. The passion intensifies and I can't help but bite your nipples. You moan and bite your lip again because it feels so good to you. I love to hear you moan and my passion grows. I've never tasted a woman before and I want you to be my first. I can't wait so I ask if I can taste you. Like most people, I can't get your pants down as easily as I'd like but you help me out. I kiss your cleavage all the way down to your "happy trail". I finger you and let you feel my warmth and touch inside of you. You sigh and let out your sexual frustration because you haven't been helped in a long time. I let my tongue take over and your body gives into the feeling. Your breathing intensifies and I go deeper inside you with my tongue. Your moan softens but your body starts to convulse. This is how I know you've fully succumbed to my skills. I suck on your clit and your moan and body convulsions intensify. I slide my fingers inside you while I eat you out. You tasted so good to me and I want more of you. I want your fluids in my mouth and all over my hand. This is exactly what I imagined it to be. You are everything I expected. I come up for air and relish in the moment and watch your face and body come into me. I can't help myself, so I say "come. Come for me baby." Eventually, your body rears back over the arm of the couch and I whisper louder "come on baby...come for me." Your moaning and breathing are so in sync that they sound like one. I go in and out so fast with my fingers that your body is lifting off the couch in enjoyment. This is what you want. This is what you needed and I gave it to you. You orgasm and I tasted you and kiss you back up to your mouth. You grab my neck and hold tight and this is how you say thank you. I kiss everywhere on your body to help you wind down and you caress my head and face and smile. This is what I wanted to do for you.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Spring Break was AMAZING!
I don't have time to comment or post pictures right now of my trip to New York City over Spring Break, but I will tell you that it was great and that I had a blast! One day, I will move to New York and it will be great! I didn't want to leave, but here I am, back in Riverside, finishing up my degree. *sigh* I will most definitely update really soon.
Love, peace and chicken grease!
Love, peace and chicken grease!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Addiction
Hello, blogger world!
I turned 25 in the last hour! Lol.
I have been super busy with life and school but I was inspired to write a poem. I was watching INTERVENTION and started thinking about addiction and what the word meant and how it described a person. So here's my take on Addiction.
Pain. I mask it.
Suffering. I hide it.
Shame. I down it.
Addiction. I live it.
Consumption of my every bone
every muscle, every
thought.
What is this thing taking
over me?
Whose body am I living in?
Whose clothes
am I wearing?
This wasn't me but this
is me NOW.
Hatred of myself and who I've
become
I don't recognize myself and couldn't
point myself out in a lineup.
Could you?
Wrap your head around my options
to choose my addiction over you
Understand that I matter to
me more than you do
Thoughts and images of me cross
my mind of who I have become
but not the complete me.
Who am I?
I am the addiction.
I am your addict.
Your problem child at 34 years old.
Trust. Love. Joy.
All these things you lost from me.
Faith.
That's gone too, but somehow
there's a part of you that
manages to keep me in your
prayers.
You amaze me with
your passion and dedication
and commitment to me.
Remain my strength.
I know I let you down and I
see the disappointment in your
eyes. Don't let me
go. Don't let me
fall cause I've done it
my way and where has
it left my soul?
I've walked down my
beaten path many a time
and my life has ended in
the gutter.
You tell me that I'm not okay
and sometimes I believe it
and other times I can handle
it myself.
I can handle it
I can hand over my will anytime
I can
walk away from my pain
if I feel like it
I can feel and will this
void away anytime I choose.
You don't own me
I own me
My addiction owns...
me
How do I say
'enough is enough' or
two simple words like
'help' and 'me'
I can't put the two words
together and I don't know how.
How do I say or
speak these confessing words
'Please'
It's so simple, yet not at all.
I'm done; I'm gone
I'm addicted
Please comment on it.
Love, peace, and chicken grease!
I turned 25 in the last hour! Lol.
I have been super busy with life and school but I was inspired to write a poem. I was watching INTERVENTION and started thinking about addiction and what the word meant and how it described a person. So here's my take on Addiction.
Pain. I mask it.
Suffering. I hide it.
Shame. I down it.
Addiction. I live it.
Consumption of my every bone
every muscle, every
thought.
What is this thing taking
over me?
Whose body am I living in?
Whose clothes
am I wearing?
This wasn't me but this
is me NOW.
Hatred of myself and who I've
become
I don't recognize myself and couldn't
point myself out in a lineup.
Could you?
Wrap your head around my options
to choose my addiction over you
Understand that I matter to
me more than you do
Thoughts and images of me cross
my mind of who I have become
but not the complete me.
Who am I?
I am the addiction.
I am your addict.
Your problem child at 34 years old.
Trust. Love. Joy.
All these things you lost from me.
Faith.
That's gone too, but somehow
there's a part of you that
manages to keep me in your
prayers.
You amaze me with
your passion and dedication
and commitment to me.
Remain my strength.
I know I let you down and I
see the disappointment in your
eyes. Don't let me
go. Don't let me
fall cause I've done it
my way and where has
it left my soul?
I've walked down my
beaten path many a time
and my life has ended in
the gutter.
You tell me that I'm not okay
and sometimes I believe it
and other times I can handle
it myself.
I can handle it
I can hand over my will anytime
I can
walk away from my pain
if I feel like it
I can feel and will this
void away anytime I choose.
You don't own me
I own me
My addiction owns...
me
How do I say
'enough is enough' or
two simple words like
'help' and 'me'
I can't put the two words
together and I don't know how.
How do I say or
speak these confessing words
'Please'
It's so simple, yet not at all.
I'm done; I'm gone
I'm addicted
Please comment on it.
Love, peace, and chicken grease!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Cilantro-Lime Tilapia
When I went grocery shopping on Friday with my best friend, Luis, he came across individually frozen pieces of seafood. I was really on a mission for some salmon, but all they had was fresh salmon. The fresh salmon is probably better, but frozen fish is okay with me. I don't mind it. Some of you may say "Go for the fresh stuff. It's much more tasty and REAL." That's fine and dandy and I agree with you, but you do have to understand that I am on a college student budget. It's amazing I can even afford seafood. So, when he found it for $1, I snatched up 5 packages extremely quick. I didn't have any idea what I was going to do with it, but I was going to come up with something. There was no salmon, but beggars can't be choosers. They had Mahi Mahi (which I grew up eating, so I'm familiar with the taste and how to prepare it), Scallops and Tilapia.
To go off topic, I am going to give you a little background on the fish.
Mahi Mahi (which is actually what the fish is called in Hawaiian) is also known as dolphin-fish found in off-shore temperate, tropical and sub-tropical waters. They are among the fastest-growing fish. The taste resembles other whitefish such as flounder and tilapia. The NRDC (Natural Resources Defense Council) classifies Mahi-Mahi as a "moderate-mercury" fish and suggests eating 6 servings or less a month. On the other hand, Monterey Bay Aquarium classifies Mahi-Mahi, when caught in the US as a "good alternative". A good alternative to what, I don't know.
Tilapia is a common name for many different species of fish. They're typically found in a variety of fresh water and are omnivorous. They can't generally survive in cool waters. Commercially grown tilapia are most exclusively male. Tilapia has very low levels of mercury as they are fast a growing and short-lived species. It has low total fat, low saturated fat, low calorie, low carbohydrate and low sodium protein source. It is also an excellent source of Phosphorus, Niacin, Selenium, Vitamin B12 and Potassium.
Back to the recipe...
I bought a lime about a week back and hadn't used it. I knew that if I didn't use it, it was going to go bad (which means turn rock hard). I love lime and since I'm mexican at heart, I knew that I had cilantro and wanted to make a simple Cilantro-lime Tilapia. When I prepare my food, I usually just put ingredients together and go for it. I think that's what cooking should be.
First, I minced one clove of garlic and put it in a small container with a little bit of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Since I don't have many fresh ingredients, I started using pre-packaged cilantro which is sold in the produce section of Stater Bros. I put about a Tbsp and some red pepper flakes. I then cut a lime in half and squeezed it into the mixture. I used a spoon to mix it and once my oven was heated, I used a pie pan (Note: I suggest using it for single portions! I only ever cook for myself) and sprayed Pam on it. Placed the Tilapia on the pan and rubbed my mixture over the top of it. Simple as that!
The other 2 items in this picture: golden tomatoes sauteed with dried onion and paprika, brown rice made with butter and a touch of Lawry's Seasoned Salt
The only thing I would change about this recipe is the amount of lime. The tilapia tasted like lime with a little kick of red pepper. I would just decrease the amount. Other than that, my meal was delicious! I suggest you try whatever your heart desires! My motto is "put some stuff together and call it a meal!"
Signing out...
To go off topic, I am going to give you a little background on the fish.
Mahi Mahi (which is actually what the fish is called in Hawaiian) is also known as dolphin-fish found in off-shore temperate, tropical and sub-tropical waters. They are among the fastest-growing fish. The taste resembles other whitefish such as flounder and tilapia. The NRDC (Natural Resources Defense Council) classifies Mahi-Mahi as a "moderate-mercury" fish and suggests eating 6 servings or less a month. On the other hand, Monterey Bay Aquarium classifies Mahi-Mahi, when caught in the US as a "good alternative". A good alternative to what, I don't know.
Tilapia is a common name for many different species of fish. They're typically found in a variety of fresh water and are omnivorous. They can't generally survive in cool waters. Commercially grown tilapia are most exclusively male. Tilapia has very low levels of mercury as they are fast a growing and short-lived species. It has low total fat, low saturated fat, low calorie, low carbohydrate and low sodium protein source. It is also an excellent source of Phosphorus, Niacin, Selenium, Vitamin B12 and Potassium.
Back to the recipe...
I bought a lime about a week back and hadn't used it. I knew that if I didn't use it, it was going to go bad (which means turn rock hard). I love lime and since I'm mexican at heart, I knew that I had cilantro and wanted to make a simple Cilantro-lime Tilapia. When I prepare my food, I usually just put ingredients together and go for it. I think that's what cooking should be.
First, I minced one clove of garlic and put it in a small container with a little bit of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Since I don't have many fresh ingredients, I started using pre-packaged cilantro which is sold in the produce section of Stater Bros. I put about a Tbsp and some red pepper flakes. I then cut a lime in half and squeezed it into the mixture. I used a spoon to mix it and once my oven was heated, I used a pie pan (Note: I suggest using it for single portions! I only ever cook for myself) and sprayed Pam on it. Placed the Tilapia on the pan and rubbed my mixture over the top of it. Simple as that!
The other 2 items in this picture: golden tomatoes sauteed with dried onion and paprika, brown rice made with butter and a touch of Lawry's Seasoned Salt
The only thing I would change about this recipe is the amount of lime. The tilapia tasted like lime with a little kick of red pepper. I would just decrease the amount. Other than that, my meal was delicious! I suggest you try whatever your heart desires! My motto is "put some stuff together and call it a meal!"
Signing out...
Cooking
I am greatly inspired right now to cook. I don't want to cook at this moment, as it is 215 in the morning on Tuesday. I spent Sunday evening with my 2 Valentines, Luis and Carlos. We made a fabulous dinner, and I don't know what I am going to make for my dinner tonight. I still have some time, but I really feel like making something gourmet. I mean, my meals are practically gourmet already, but I want to take it to another level. Sometimes, I wish I went to culinary school because I enjoy cooking so much.
I just wanted to update the world with that.
I'll update UPDATE more on a later date. This is a busy week for me, so I'm not sure if I'll be back this week to write.
Signing out...
I just wanted to update the world with that.
I'll update UPDATE more on a later date. This is a busy week for me, so I'm not sure if I'll be back this week to write.
Signing out...
Monday, February 8, 2010
A little ditty
I wrote this little thing when I was sitting in my Greek, Roman, Italian Renaissance Theater class. It was really cold and I was really tired and I had to find something to do, so this is what came out:
The sleep settles in and my head swathes to the rhythm of the music playing above my head on the ipod. It sings to me the melody of a synthesized piano and the voice is enclosing me in a silk blanket of buttery notes in C major. As I lie in my semi-soft bed, I begin to think about the times we shared; the moments you enveloped me in your strong arms; the times we lay awake in your bed and watch corny television shows and make boxed macaroni and cheese. It was the small things we did together that made life worthwhile. I know I wasn't the best girlfriend, but because of you, I now know and understand what it feels like to be held with passion and fire. Though you and I were only together for a short amount of time, it was the best 2 months I had ever had. I distinctly remember the time I was sick and you laid your head on my stomach and just let me sleep. At that moment, I knew what love truly felt like. At this recollection, I come to my surroundings and become aware of where I am and what I'm doing and then drift to sleep. Unbeknownst to you, these images are played over and over in my mind and I wonder if you ever think of me in those same memories.
This was written in the spur of the moment without any corrections to my thoughts. I wrote it in about 20 minutes, coming and going to it, because I was taking notes.
The sleep settles in and my head swathes to the rhythm of the music playing above my head on the ipod. It sings to me the melody of a synthesized piano and the voice is enclosing me in a silk blanket of buttery notes in C major. As I lie in my semi-soft bed, I begin to think about the times we shared; the moments you enveloped me in your strong arms; the times we lay awake in your bed and watch corny television shows and make boxed macaroni and cheese. It was the small things we did together that made life worthwhile. I know I wasn't the best girlfriend, but because of you, I now know and understand what it feels like to be held with passion and fire. Though you and I were only together for a short amount of time, it was the best 2 months I had ever had. I distinctly remember the time I was sick and you laid your head on my stomach and just let me sleep. At that moment, I knew what love truly felt like. At this recollection, I come to my surroundings and become aware of where I am and what I'm doing and then drift to sleep. Unbeknownst to you, these images are played over and over in my mind and I wonder if you ever think of me in those same memories.
This was written in the spur of the moment without any corrections to my thoughts. I wrote it in about 20 minutes, coming and going to it, because I was taking notes.
Friday, February 5, 2010
The Power of Faith
What to say.
I don't know. I just wish that this quarter was over. I don't like my classes really (except for Hip Hop Theater). I've lost my drive and ambition for this quarter. I have no desire to be on campus or in class, for that matter. The only thing that's keeping me there is the fact that I want to graduate and show everyone (myself included) that I can do this. I know that I doubt myself everyday I get up in the morning that I can't do this. And each day I pray to God to help me stay focused on Him and He will guide me in the direction that I should go. I know that He is up there helping me with this mess called school. I am so stressed out and my shoulders are killing me every single day. Faith is a powerful tool. Faith is what got me here to UCR. I prayed day after day for God to get me into a school so I could get my degree. I knew that in His time I would be here at this point. With prayer, it happened. I was feeling very distant from God, but I am making my way back to Him. Prayer, meditation and devotions are bringing me back since I am not able to get to church on Sundays. It's my way of connecting to God, which I so desperately need. I need the connection and the calm and level head right now. I am psyching myself out and I know that it's all in my head. *sigh* The Lord will guide me...I have faith.
So, this is my PSA for practicing faith. Do it, because it does help and keeps you centered. If you so desire not to practice a specific faith, just be a spiritual person. Be connected to yourself and not so distant. Stay focused on a higher power that helps you.
If you would like more information on faith and spirituality, please copy and paste this website:
http://www.faith.com
[I still don't have a closing phrase]
I don't know. I just wish that this quarter was over. I don't like my classes really (except for Hip Hop Theater). I've lost my drive and ambition for this quarter. I have no desire to be on campus or in class, for that matter. The only thing that's keeping me there is the fact that I want to graduate and show everyone (myself included) that I can do this. I know that I doubt myself everyday I get up in the morning that I can't do this. And each day I pray to God to help me stay focused on Him and He will guide me in the direction that I should go. I know that He is up there helping me with this mess called school. I am so stressed out and my shoulders are killing me every single day. Faith is a powerful tool. Faith is what got me here to UCR. I prayed day after day for God to get me into a school so I could get my degree. I knew that in His time I would be here at this point. With prayer, it happened. I was feeling very distant from God, but I am making my way back to Him. Prayer, meditation and devotions are bringing me back since I am not able to get to church on Sundays. It's my way of connecting to God, which I so desperately need. I need the connection and the calm and level head right now. I am psyching myself out and I know that it's all in my head. *sigh* The Lord will guide me...I have faith.
So, this is my PSA for practicing faith. Do it, because it does help and keeps you centered. If you so desire not to practice a specific faith, just be a spiritual person. Be connected to yourself and not so distant. Stay focused on a higher power that helps you.
If you would like more information on faith and spirituality, please copy and paste this website:
http://www.faith.com
[I still don't have a closing phrase]
Sunday, January 31, 2010
The end of INTIMATE APPAREL
Well folks. Today marks the end of the one and only INTIMATE APPAREL. It was such a pleasure to be a part of it. I just want to take this time to thank the entire cast and crew and director and production staff for such a wonderful show. It was a blast, and I'm kind of bittersweet about the whole thing. I have so many wonderful things to say to the cast of the show. I am trying to decide how and if I want to say it all right here.
Hmmm...
Too many words, not enough will. Hahaa.
However, I will post the pictures.
Amy Wright (Esther Mills)
Rinata Krel (Mrs. Van Buren)
LaShe Rodriguez (Mayme)
Aaron Carew (George Armstrong)
[Christopher] Jordan Mackey (Mr. Marks)
In other news, I have been trying to keep up with my hair. The hairspray that I used during the show did a NUMBER on my hair. I'm so glad that the shampoo and coconut oil revitalized my hair. I feel like a whole new person! I am enthralled with the condition of my hair. It is so moisturized! Hahaa.
I have posted videos on youtube, so please check them out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/kneegroe03
What's your catch phrase?
Hmmm...
Too many words, not enough will. Hahaa.
However, I will post the pictures.
Amy Wright (Esther Mills)
Rinata Krel (Mrs. Van Buren)
LaShe Rodriguez (Mayme)
Aaron Carew (George Armstrong)
[Christopher] Jordan Mackey (Mr. Marks)
In other news, I have been trying to keep up with my hair. The hairspray that I used during the show did a NUMBER on my hair. I'm so glad that the shampoo and coconut oil revitalized my hair. I feel like a whole new person! I am enthralled with the condition of my hair. It is so moisturized! Hahaa.
I have posted videos on youtube, so please check them out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/kneegroe03
What's your catch phrase?
Friday, January 29, 2010
Body Cleanse
I made an awesome dinner on Tuesday night, which consisted of chorizo, potatoes, beans and eggs. It was so much that I made that I ended up eating it as leftovers on Wednesday night too. Because of how bloated I felt and gross that I didn't really eat anything super healthy, I decided that yesterday was going to be a cleansing. I had an extremely vegetarian day! For breakfast, I had a blueberry bagel with Nutella, banana, yogurt and orange juice. For lunch, I had celery, carrots and golden tomatoes sprinkled with a little salt and pepper. I also had an apple and blueberries with 1 packet of Splenda sprinkled on top. For dinner, I had cucumber, tomato and lettuce with turkey bacon and balsamic viniagrette. It was pretty healthy today, until I started my show. I finished my salad and my water before I started getting ready at 630pm. My stomach started growling a bit before I had to go on stage at 8pm. I felt really awake and hyped up due to the veggies vitamins and minerals that were keeping me energized. Fatty foods make me so tired, as I soon realized and understood yesterday. I already eat quite a lot of vegetables, sometimes more than the protein I'm supposed to eat. My mom used to think that I would be a vegetarian when I was little because I don't really like meat. For the most part, it is true. I'd rather have a meatless meal, but I know the importance of having a balanced diet. I know that the protein will give me vitamins that beans or nuts can't give me. So, I think from this point on, I will switch it up on a daily basis and have completely vegetarian days. That cleansing yesterday made me realize how much I miss being that mini-hippie. I love eating lots of fruits and vegetables, so I have decided to embark (partly) on my best friend Luis' journey to be a vegetarian. May we be both end up healthier people by the end of this.
By the way, I haven't been going to the gym this quarter due to the fact that I value my sleep way more than getting up to work out. So, after this show is over (Sunday), I will be going to the gym in the mornings and getting back into shape. As strange as this may sound, I miss running on the treadmill while listening to Black Eyed Peas. Oh memories...
[insert catch phrase here]
THIS WILL BE MY NEW CATCH PHRASE! Hahaa. I love it.
By the way, I haven't been going to the gym this quarter due to the fact that I value my sleep way more than getting up to work out. So, after this show is over (Sunday), I will be going to the gym in the mornings and getting back into shape. As strange as this may sound, I miss running on the treadmill while listening to Black Eyed Peas. Oh memories...
[insert catch phrase here]
THIS WILL BE MY NEW CATCH PHRASE! Hahaa. I love it.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sickness
I just want to say that I am so over this cold! I have been with this for over a week now and it's getting to be ridiculous! I have swollen tonsils and I just want them to go away! UGH!
Anyway, where should I go now...
I want to do this for real. Blog. But it seems I can't even do that. School is, well, just school right now. I have my show which has been pretty successful as far as the audience is receiving it. The audiences are pretty sparce, but they are very receptive to this great show (Intimate Apparel by Lynn Nottage, Directed by Kathryn Ervin).
Enough of that.
This quarter is really lagging with my classes. Not very interesting this quarter, but because of this show, I had to have time to breathe! But, I'm sure this next quarter will be much more difficult.
I have decided that I will become a blogger. A video blogger and blogspot blogger too! When this show is over, I will do many more things online. I am thinking of reviewing musicals and books and makeup and hair and other random shtuff. So, does this sound good to everyone? Feedback would be fab.
[insert catch phrase here]
I have to think up a really good one...
Anyway, where should I go now...
I want to do this for real. Blog. But it seems I can't even do that. School is, well, just school right now. I have my show which has been pretty successful as far as the audience is receiving it. The audiences are pretty sparce, but they are very receptive to this great show (Intimate Apparel by Lynn Nottage, Directed by Kathryn Ervin).
Enough of that.
This quarter is really lagging with my classes. Not very interesting this quarter, but because of this show, I had to have time to breathe! But, I'm sure this next quarter will be much more difficult.
I have decided that I will become a blogger. A video blogger and blogspot blogger too! When this show is over, I will do many more things online. I am thinking of reviewing musicals and books and makeup and hair and other random shtuff. So, does this sound good to everyone? Feedback would be fab.
[insert catch phrase here]
I have to think up a really good one...
Friday, January 15, 2010
Life happens
What has been going on in my life?
EVERYTHING!
My show opens next week on Thursday. I am so excited for it. This has been the fastest production I have ever been a part of. This marks the near end of our second full week of rehearsal. If you can't tell, I feel like a zombie. I really wanna take a nap, but I know that if I do, I will not be able to get back up.
So, now that I've just been hydrated with some delicious Riverside water (which I found out has the worst water in the STATE), I just want to take this time to vent a bit. I am not happy with having to clean the house, but I did. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen AGAIN! My roommate, Anna, says that we will rotate the cleaning duties, but that hasn't happened yet. I posted an update on my facebook that basically said I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom again, even with a full schedule! I just saw Anna get up and tie up the trash! I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen from top to bottom and am now sitting at my laptop. I got up this morning when she was still sleep. I got back to the apartment around 2:00pm and she was still in her pajamas. She never changes out of them unless she is going to go to class.
Anyway...my brain is fried that I can't even continue! I only have the mental capacity for menial tv on hulu.com (Thanks Luis!).
EVERYTHING!
My show opens next week on Thursday. I am so excited for it. This has been the fastest production I have ever been a part of. This marks the near end of our second full week of rehearsal. If you can't tell, I feel like a zombie. I really wanna take a nap, but I know that if I do, I will not be able to get back up.
So, now that I've just been hydrated with some delicious Riverside water (which I found out has the worst water in the STATE), I just want to take this time to vent a bit. I am not happy with having to clean the house, but I did. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen AGAIN! My roommate, Anna, says that we will rotate the cleaning duties, but that hasn't happened yet. I posted an update on my facebook that basically said I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom again, even with a full schedule! I just saw Anna get up and tie up the trash! I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen from top to bottom and am now sitting at my laptop. I got up this morning when she was still sleep. I got back to the apartment around 2:00pm and she was still in her pajamas. She never changes out of them unless she is going to go to class.
Anyway...my brain is fried that I can't even continue! I only have the mental capacity for menial tv on hulu.com (Thanks Luis!).
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Mid-week madness
Today didn't start out as I had hoped. I didn't go to bed until 1:30 this morning and was supposed to get up at 6:30, but I was so wiped out that I didn't get up at that time. I had to work at 8 and guess what time I woke up? I bet you're thinking that it was after 8, but I did not. I got up at around 7:30 and the only saving grace was that I showered before I went to sleep! Whew! But what I wanted to do was get up and eat breakfast before work and also pack myself lunch since I was going to be on campus from 8a-3p. Needless to say, lunch did not get made, nor was breakfast consumed. I woke up feeling like someone put things over my eyes and I wasn't quite aware of what I was doing. So, I left for work in a rush with a rumble in my stomach and the desire for a double shot of espresso. I rarely have espresso straight up, but there was no way I could stand on my feet for 4 hours and do work without some sort of stimulant.
Though the morning was a bit of a struggle, the day turned out to be really great! For starters, I had Hip Hop Theatre today and that class is totally something else. My professor is so funny! Our assignment for today was to pick an element of Hip Hop culture and take on the element. We then had to choose a name and give a sample of our element. The choices were Beatboxing, DJing, Graffiti or Breakdancing. I chose Beatboxing and my name would be J-fikki-dizzle. It was awesome. The whole class had to do something and some of them were HOT and others were quite freaky. Two guys are very interested in the devil and 666 and murder and dark things of that nature. Most of the people in the class were bothered by this, as was I. I am all for people who like to do their own thing against the norm, but that was just plain freaky. If you think about it, we have a class of about 50 people, some of whom are black and religious like I am, so I know the weird feeling that you get from it.
And the day got even better! Intimate Apparel rehearsal was fabulous. We are finally getting a hold on what we're supposed to be doing. We are realizing what our characters are actually saying and meaning and now are internalizing the words and feeling what we're saying. The only bad thing about tonight's rehearsal was the fact that I kept second guessing myself. I start saying the lines and then when I think I'm not right, I call for line and it turns out that I am right. I have to learn to stop second-guessing myself. Kathy, the director, even told us this: we have to trust ourselves.
With that being said, I leave you with that message. In our daily lives and throughout everything that we do, we must learn to trust ourselves. Because if we second-guess ourselves, we just create headaches. Sometimes, we're meant to have headaches in order to learn not to be so hard on ourselves, but it's life. These experiences are what make us human and that's okay. We may make mistakes, but we have to learn. We are our teachers.
Peace and Love...
Though the morning was a bit of a struggle, the day turned out to be really great! For starters, I had Hip Hop Theatre today and that class is totally something else. My professor is so funny! Our assignment for today was to pick an element of Hip Hop culture and take on the element. We then had to choose a name and give a sample of our element. The choices were Beatboxing, DJing, Graffiti or Breakdancing. I chose Beatboxing and my name would be J-fikki-dizzle. It was awesome. The whole class had to do something and some of them were HOT and others were quite freaky. Two guys are very interested in the devil and 666 and murder and dark things of that nature. Most of the people in the class were bothered by this, as was I. I am all for people who like to do their own thing against the norm, but that was just plain freaky. If you think about it, we have a class of about 50 people, some of whom are black and religious like I am, so I know the weird feeling that you get from it.
And the day got even better! Intimate Apparel rehearsal was fabulous. We are finally getting a hold on what we're supposed to be doing. We are realizing what our characters are actually saying and meaning and now are internalizing the words and feeling what we're saying. The only bad thing about tonight's rehearsal was the fact that I kept second guessing myself. I start saying the lines and then when I think I'm not right, I call for line and it turns out that I am right. I have to learn to stop second-guessing myself. Kathy, the director, even told us this: we have to trust ourselves.
With that being said, I leave you with that message. In our daily lives and throughout everything that we do, we must learn to trust ourselves. Because if we second-guess ourselves, we just create headaches. Sometimes, we're meant to have headaches in order to learn not to be so hard on ourselves, but it's life. These experiences are what make us human and that's okay. We may make mistakes, but we have to learn. We are our teachers.
Peace and Love...
This night should have been over already
I kept telling myself that I would not be on the computer past midnight tonight, yet here I am, wide awake at my laptop. I have work at 8 in the morning, I need to clear my bed of the clothes I was supposed to put away at 11pm, and I was supposed to shower. You know what happens next...I got SIDETRACKED! I should have gotten up like I said I was. My eyes are getting really heavy and I should be asleep already. Seriously, I am going to throw my clothes in the basket (AGAIN), grab some underwear and my pajamas and head to the shower. After that, I will be sleep!
Cheers to a new year, new quarter, same best friends!
Goodnight!
Cheers to a new year, new quarter, same best friends!
Goodnight!
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